A Most Disturbing Photo

Nelson,

The thing that that struck me most about the photos of this girl is the look on her face... her staring at us with a look that is so penetrating. Does she look at us individually or as a group and what she is thinking? Is she thinking, who are these strangers (gringos) who are staring back at her; or does she even really see us? I get chills as I think about what really might be going on inside of her brain... her spirit... her soulspace. Is there a numbing so very deep that it is simply an empty stare beyond herself, or is there a crying out from the deepest place inside herself pleading for someone to notice...to reach out to her...to care...to dare to try to make a difference in her life? While others in her community seem to simply ignore her, as though she doesn't exist.

Like the boy who was crumpled in a heap after school that day-- we couldn't help but be touched with emotion as we witnessed his helplessness, and we, too, helpless to do anything about it; while others just passed him by as if he didn't exist. Have the people of El Recuerdo become so immune to the reality of these young people who have found this wayward path to numb themselves from the pain of their everyday existence? Or do they prefer to turn away because they know all too well the desperation, the hopelessness these young people feel? And they choose not to be reminded, but rather to live their lives day to day as best they can with hope and faith. Only God knows what is really going on at the core of their being... and may God bless each of them as they are.

The photo of you and your friend [Eddie?] with this girl in the background is, to me, a very real representation of hope and despair, of life and death, of joy and sadness, the paradox of life in El Recuerdo. This image -- the older woman walking past the girl as if she's not there -- and you reaching out to him and he to you-- it is a powerful image of the hope that Vida Joven offers the young people of this commmunity. We were blessed to experience the harsh realities of this community where pain and suffering, joy and laughter coexist in such raw form. We made some mark upon the young and old of this community by our presence, by our interactions and by the work of our hands. This experience and 0thers during the week have certainly made their mark upon me!

Like you, it will not let me go... Still processing...... Stacy

The Irony of the SCAR

Over the past week and a half I think I have felt the same as the rest of you. Dazed, Confused, Lost, Different, Happy, Sad, Worried. (In Need of Some Direction) Certainly I came back from the trip in a little different condition than the rest of you in that I not only brought back with me an emotional marking but I had the privilege of bringing back a physical marking as well. During the past week I think I have certainly come to understand something very ironic about the emotional and physical markings and what ultimately happens with both. There is a healing process. And when the healing is complete we are left with a scar.

What does the scar mean and how does it affect the rest of our lives? I have no answers but I do have some thoughts as I make some comparisons and find commonality between the specific emotional and physical scars I brought back with me.

I am not the same as I was before I left to go

I have a constant reminder of where I have been and what I endured

Sometimes it does not look pretty

The pain is more emotional that physical

Do I want others to see it or should I not bother them with it

Do others see it and if they do what do they think

Do they understand or does it scare them

Should we hide it or expose it

Should I look at it or pretend it is not there

Should I talk about it with others or just deal with it without involving others

Why me and can I honestly deal with this

What can I do to make it better or make it go away

One other ironic thing that I have found during this past week in a half is the similarities between the emotional and the physical marking that are healing as we speak that will scar us each uniquely. In order to see the scar I have to look in the mirror, and when I do, it appears. Is it good or is it bad. I think it is a matter of prospective. It is good because I know I am alive and I have a Savior that can change me. It is bad only if we choose to focus solely on the SCAR.

There is so much more...

My dear friends:

I sit here at school and have found myself thinking of what it is we were doing in Guatemala City 2 weeks ago at this particular time. I see us all finishing lunch after hearing Estella's life story getting up from our chairs and departing the community room to get back to work. Some of us getting ready for the long night ahead as this would be the day that we would be spending the entirety of the night in El Recuerdo. I think words still can't do justice to describe how that night has impacted my life. The fear and reluctance that many of us felt before the experience sticks in my mind... How the idea of being uncomfortable, dirty, and unable to fully communicate with the selected El Recuerdo families overpowered any feelings of readiness and excitement simply breaks my heart. These people, who live in this poverty, sadness, and suffering were willing to invite us into their homes, give us shelter, a bed, and food to eat... and we were scared. Why? I think for each of us, this question has different answers. For me, it was because, my entire life, I've been blessed beyond measures... I have 2 loving parents and brothers... I attend a university where I feel safe and protected... I have the best friends in the whole world... I've always had a house with no holes in the roof... and I've never had to live without having the opportunity to eat. I'm not used to loud, filthy, small rooms. But, after going into the Lopez's home, having them make cookies for me and share their photos and lives with me, I realized I had no right to listen to the underlying presumptions of these people... Because in all honesty, I think they know how to love better than I. They know how to live simply. I will be forever touched by this.

In a world of suffering, why should I be so blessed?

I think of one of my favorite pair of shoes that I wore everyday in Guatemala... My green Keens. I got these shoes last fall at an REI sale. I remember I was having an off week and wanted to go shopping for some shoes to kick away whatever I was feeling. I saw them on the sale rack and looked at the price... REI Price: $35.72 Original Price: $94.78 ... SOLD! I loved those shoes. They were word almost everyday I wasn't wearing my Birks. Well, as some of you know, On Wednesday, Estella kept telling me she liked my green Keens... So on Friday before we left for Antigua, I gave them to her. Well, back at school, people have asked me where my green shoes are because they have noticed I haven't been wearing them... "I gave them to a friend in Guatemala" is always my answer... and people are shocked. "You love those things!" and "WHAT? You bought them!" are popular responses... but it's made me realize this: yeah, they may have cost money... but they aren't worth a thing compared to the smaller things in life. I can buy new shoes. But seeing the grin on Estella's face after I handed her those shoes is priceless. Seeing the kids laugh at our poorly spoken Spanish is priceless. Being apart of the community that is El Recuerdo for a week was priceless... and so worth it.

Traveling, being in El Recuerdo, seeing so much poverty, an amazing hike to the Pacaya Volcano... everything exceded my expectations. Watching kids who, in my eyes, have absolutely nothing... had the willingness to help us work every day. Seeing kids faces light up as I took their picture was beyond cool. Through broken communication I was able to see that acknowledgement of them was all that was needed... We witnessed a lot of brokenness that week... from the many teenagers huffing, to people scavenging in the dump, to kids having to wear the same dirty clothes everyday... but we also got to see God in the people we encountered... from Sandra, to Fito, to Estella, to Laura, to Rebeca, to Brady, and to everyone in our group. How fitting that the phrase "all you need is love!" was so bodly presented in the Miami airport. Because, it was evident that all those people really needed was the love of Jesus Christ. And that's what we were able to take with us. And that's what the Vida Joven staff takes with them everytime they walk into El Recuerdo... What a powerful thing.

There is so much more to this life than material things... There is so much more.

" ¹⁰I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. ¹¹I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹²I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³I can do everything through him who gives me strength. " - Philipians 4:10-13

I know this is kind of all over the place... but I am so thankful I was able to share this experience with each of you.

A Most Disturbing Image

http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/GK5_A0oZFO_FU-9YCF7o9g?authkey=Gv1sRgCLyuprq51Mezew&feat=directlink

Maybe you remember her -- the first huffer that greeted us when we arrived in el Recuerdo. And coincidentally, she's the last person I remember seeing when we pulled away on Friday -- wearing the same thing, doing the same thing -- 6 days later.

And there's more -- something about the way she's looking directly at us -- while the residents on the street in the background are walking away from her, heads down, backs turned. I can't stop looking at this photo....

Guatemala Web Photo Album (Thanks Joe!)

You are invited to view the Guatemala web photo album

Photo reflections

Team,
I have posted a couple of photos to the blog. As I scan through some of our photos, I am touched by the many smiles I see amidst the hugs and laughter! This has been quite a special journey for each of us individually and for our team as a whole... one that has made an indelible mark on each of our lives.

Trying to articulate our experiences has not been easy this past week. The emotion that fills my heart is difficult to contain at times. El Recuerdo has penetrated deeply as I remember our time together touching the lives of those who live in that community. May we continue to share our stories with one another and with others, for in doing so, we validate the ways in which God has been present with us in this journey.
Blessings, Stacy

Nelson, Cindy and Team,

A phenomenon I've been experiencing since our return is seeing our new Guatemalan friends everywhere I've been this week. I'll turn and think I see Estella or almost bump into someone that reminds me so much of Sandra or Feto. It has happened many times this week and then I'll remember that I'm here at home safe and comfortable, clean and surrounded by my friends who love me. Tuesday evening at church I sang with our group and felt the connectedness we had last week; I wonder how our GC friends are feeling. Are they safe and comfortable? Probably not by my definition but we all saw how they depend on one another and spend time with each other. They were not so different were they? I do wish I could make things better for them and maybe we did in a small way. They made me different seeing how they persevere with so much adversity. I met a lot of heroes last week and some of them so young. Again, I want to say how proud I was to work with all of you and certainly our Guatemalan families. I'll will never forget the grandfather in his wheelchair thanking us for his beautiful new home. How humbling that was. We must go back. Sally

Article for The Commissioner

Ditto, Nelson...can't quite seem to wrap myself around our trip, yet.
Here is the article that I will submit for next week's Commissioner. I must say that writing this has helped.
Cindy


"A Leap of Faith" … "An Invitation to Hope"

I was prepared for this trip. I had helped raise funds, had attended the team retreat, had met everyone on my team, had completed my team duties, had chosen gifts for my prayer partner, had been commissioned at the Ash Wednesday service, had packed my bag, had prepared my family for my absence, had done some research about Guatemala, and had even practiced my broken Spanish. I was prepared for the trip.

I wasn't prepared for the journey... the journey that would take us from our affluent surroundings to one of the most poverty stricken areas in the world... the journey that would take us from the heights of the Pacaya Volcano to the depths of the garbage dump in Guatemala City...a journey that would challenge our definition of wealth and would make us know that we are much richer for having been on this trip ...the journey that would remind us to look beyond the outward appearance of a filthy child to find a soul desperate for attention, approval and the hope of a better tomorrow...the journey that would make us understand that building relationships is more important than building houses...a journey that would change us all.Our work was done in a neighborhood called El Recuerdo, in English, "The Memory". El Recuerdo is a community built on the top of a landfill, a dump site. From the moment we arrived in this community until the hour the bus pulled away on the last day, we were both stunned and captivated by the surroundings and the people of El Recuerdo…

Stunned by the level of poverty of all who live in this walled community; captivated by the generosity of its people,

Stunned by the rampant drug use of some of the youth in an effort to escape the deplorable conditions; captivated by willingness of others to work tirelessly beside us each day,

Stunned by the feeling of utter hopelessness and despair as we gazed into the city dump, watching people fight to reclaim items that could be used or recycled; captivated by the innocent sounds of joy and laughter as we played in the common area with the children of El Recuerdo,

Stunned by the life stories of the Guatemalan “Vida Joven”, Young Life, staff…stories of murder, physical abuse, gang violence, and drug abuse; captivated by the willingness of the same staff to commit themselves to offering an invitation to hope to the youth through Jesus Christ.

This trip was a leap of faith for many of us. Plan for the trip but be willing to take the journey…may your journey be as fulfilling and glorious as ours was.
Cindy Jones

Acclimation!

Missioners,

Welcome to the new HBUMC Missions blog. We've created this site as a way for us to share thoughts, photos and random postings from our experience in Guatemala, Costa Rica -- as well as future mission trips. Let's also use this site as a recruiting tool for the rest of the congregation.

I haven't spoken to every one of you, but I've had a tough week acclimating to everyday life back in Raleigh. I'd like to think I could blame it on Daylight Savings Time, but I think it's something much bigger than that. Here's a recap of a conversation I had with my wife on Sunday afternoon:

Lisa: "Are you glad to be home"?
Nelson: "I'm really glad to see you and the kids but I'm not sure I am glad to be home...."

I've ordered the DVD "Recycled Life" that John Cates referenced and think we should watch it as a team. Also, check out www.safepassage.org, a non-profit that focuses on children of families working in the GC dump.

See you Sunday at Lighthouse.